Inspiration for 2016
February 1, 2016.
Today, I am feeling inspired.
It is a New Year with new challenges and I will admit it didn’t start out great. In fact, my last few months have been pretty stressful and exhausting. My 12-year-old son has had a lot of health issues, sleepless nights and so many hospital visits I can’t remember them all. It has taken over three months to get him back in school, on a ‘part-time’ basis and hopefully soon he can return to full-time status later this month.
I took on the role of protector, advocate and worried, sleep deprived mom during this time. At home, in the ER, in doctor offices, I was constantly making phone calls to nurses asking questions, booking appointments, googling online and trying to figure out what was causing his pain. I was so overwhelmed at how everything had gone, we seemed to have no answers, and yet his pain was constant, chronic, unyielding. It almost broke me…and him.
You see, I was on hiatus. I was off work and had planned on having “me” time during my hiatus from filming ‘Pretty Little Liars’. It was my chance to focus on my kids, my friends, and my future projects goals. I wanted to revamp my website, I wanted to take classes, and I could actually have time to see friends I rarely see when we film 15-16 hour days on set. I was really excited to start filming “how-to” videos for my own ‘YouTube’ Hairstyling ‘how to’ channel. Yes, I had it all planned out. It was going to be great! Creativity would flow! I was going to be productive, social and improve my social media skills…why then I could even take a good rest after having my scheduled foot surgery. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I had been diagnosed with a “Mortons Neuroma” (ie; a painful little cyst that causes sharp, burning pain and makes your toes sting, burn and feel numb) in my right foot in 2015. It had to be surgically removed, so I had scheduled it for December 16th, 2015. I had a grand plan, and I really had no idea that it would all dissolve so quickly.
I am happy to say now, that my son is doing MUCH better. We have a diagnosis, we have a plan and a great new medicine that is helping him…it is progress, and I am so grateful he is slowly returning to his former self. He is an amazing, brave, strong and beautiful boy. I am so proud of how he managed though all of this. He inspired me to be a bull-dog for him. To push ahead when the world around us was moving to slow to help him. He inspires me to be the best mom I can be for him. He inspired patience and calmness in my approach with him at such a scary time in his life. He was so afraid, so fragile, he inspired me to be brave for him, and his little brother. I gained my strength from my boys. His illness made me brutally aware, it is SO not about me. There are times in your life you think you have a plan that you are going in one direction…and then life throws a curveball-and you head down another path instead. It felt like the rug was pulled out from under me,but there was nowhere else I would want to be than by his side through all of this. That I knew. Oh, you should have seen me hobbling around on crutches on every doctor visit, in the x-ray rooms, and meeting with Children’s Hospital staff! I was a sight. My foot looked ten times bigger then its normal size. As someone who does hair for a living, mine was sadly lacking style during this time. “Messy-Bun-Kim” in baggy sweaters and stretchy work out pants, one black Ugg on my left foot and one big ole surgical boot on my Franken-Foot. I was rocking my own scary style. It was a crazy ride and certainly not my best look… but we made it through.
I am grateful to have family and friends that care. They made a huge difference giving me and the boys a sincere and needed support system. I was inspired by them to reach out more, to check in and not isolate myself with grief. I felt so shattered at times and lost. My brother, Lance, often talked me through rough days and made me believe we would get answers soon. He gave me strength. Through pain…came inspiration. Through doubt…came motivation. I have always tried to look at the bright side…this was my biggest challenge as I watched my son suffer daily in pain, I learned I could be my own inspiration. When I realized that…it empowered me.
Today was the first time in almost three months I had a few free hours to meet a girlfriend for brunch. It felt weird to go out, and have a hot chai tea and sit in a booth at a popular, buzzing cafe. I had a few hours before my early pick up of my son, so I wanted to make the most of it. Last year, I was lucky enough to have a seat next to Amy Dodds on a plane on our way to Cancun. We were both attending a Chi/Biosilk Farouk Innovation Conference. I didn’t know anyone at the event. I was traveling alone and so thankful for being sat next to Amy. We talked for five straight hours on the plane! She was amazing. She was a working mom like me, she was a writer, like I had been in college, and we both worked currently in the beauty industry. She is the Executive Editor of Beauty Launchpad and she even went above and beyond and introduced me to her fellow editors on the plane. I instantly had a group to hang with and felt welcomed. I liked her, it felt like I had known her forever. She is real, genuine and someone I wanted to have as a friend for a long time. I will credit her for the amazing weekend I had in Cancun, we laughed a lot. She inspired me in Cancun to be more productive and pro-active and she inspired me today.
Today, she helped me get back to a little bit of normal. We laughed, we talked business, I shared my plans for educating online, and reaching Cancer patients who need help with wigs. I had not discusses these things in a while. I almost felt like myself, a mom, out with a friend, talking about kids, work, life…and of course, the beauty industry goals I still want to work towards.
We can talk so easily, and I could honestly talk to Amy for hours. Time flew by. I was able to discuss my future “how-to” videos, and I asked her opinion on blogs. How much do I need to write? Every day? Every week? What is a good amount? How do I pick what to say? I had an rare opportunity to brain storm with someone who really understood online communication and who was a leader in her industry. I realized today, I really didn’t lose any opportunities to work on “my’ stuff while my son was sick. I was totally submerged in my children’s lives. I was right where I wanted and needed to be. And those moments with my sons, helped me work on my patience, my communication skills with those around me, and it compelled me to make a daily, active effort to contribute and motivate the team of doctors that were treating my son. This experience, like many in my life, happen for a reason. I learn from these moments, and hopefully take what I learn and share it with others.
My time to educate, teach, share what I know …it will come. I believe that now and I will never stop trying. I know very clearly what my priorities are, and I will always stay true to those around me that I love. And even in the hardest days ahead, I will look for inspiration, however crazy that may be at certain moments. I know I can be my own inspiration when I need to be. We all can. We can inspire others in their times of need. What a great gift to give…right? I am sharing my thoughts, hoping to inspire anyone going through a tough time, someone who feels lost, or anyone who just wants to read inspiration found in a single mom/celebrity hairstylists rambling blog. I hope you find inspiration in your life…and breathe it in.
2016 is looking brighter already.